Xndo weigh in and programme

So I had my weigh in for the Xndo programme today. I am not very interested in the actual programme (maybe I should be!) but the actual, physical motion of going and weighing in.... in front of someone! (gasp) and showing them what you have  eaten for the week. (excuse me whilst I have a brief panic attack)

But I seriously need a kick in the rectum. Two for two days and I have stuffed both of them up...

BUT! Day three has been a bit different....

At this very moment, I am sitting on 1414 cals out of 1500 and feeling mighty fine about it! 18% of my calories have been from fat (ugh) 20% from protein and 62% from carbs. Kinda hard to avoid carbs being a vegetarian....

Now, my next challenge for today was to find, set up and play my wii fit....and I have unpacked it after lending it to my sister and the &%$' remote is missing! I WANT TO BE GOOD! The universe is working against me.

Still have 12-13 kilos to lose....Just need to get over these initial hurdles.

Healthy thoughts....off to find some exercise that I can do that is not boring or likely to hurt me...

Bruschetta at midnite...

Oh god, Bruschetta at midnight, why were you so yummy. 2 for 2 days where I was over.

What is it about my head that associates food and company and fun? Because it is not by myself that I fall off the bandwagon, it is out being social, where I justify it as a social event. Could I not just have had a coffee at midnight? Or a diet coke? ARGH!

Ok, being weighed today at the chemist, and going to shake it up with some xndo programme...if it works, hallelujah.

Healthy thoughts.
x

Day two so far

Going good everyone!

Have eaten (copied and pasted from the calorie king website!)

1 rounded teaspoon (1.8g) of Coffees: Coffee, Instant, Granulated, Ground (Regular or Decaffeinated), dry 3 11
0.3 serving (250mL) of Vitasoy: UHT / Longlife Soy Drinks: Soy Milky, Lite 29 119

1 extra large, 250g with skin, 20cm/8" (165g) of Fruit, fresh: Banana, raw, edible portion 149 624

1 cup (220mL) of Coffee Shop: Flat White w. soy milk, no sugar 94 393

1 shot (30mL) of Gloria Jean's Coffees: Drinks, Hot: Syrup, Hazelnut Flavour 62 260

2 cup (200g) of Fruit, fresh: Fruit Salad w. fresh fruit, edible portion 148 620

2 large egg (50g) (44g) of Eggs: Chicken Egg, whole, hard-boiled 114 480

1/2 biscuit (58g) of Muffin Break: Cookies: Shortbread 149 624

1 meal (200g) of Weight Watchers: Frozen Meals: Minis, Creamy Mushroom Penne

Equalling 953 calories, with 547 calories to go.

Gunna go and work some off!

Healthy thoughts!

x

New Day, New Promises...

Okay, hello Day Two. Day One and I ended up having a falling out, and so I thought I would set some ground rules before we get too familiar, and start having problems. Your end of the bargain is that you need to be nice to me, and not drag or be boring or throw incompetant/meglomaniac/stupid people my way and I will promise to be good and eat foods that are full of nutrients, fibre and not overindulge and eat my feelings.

I promise to:

• Eat what I have brought to work.
• Not eat cake at morning tea time.
• Go to the gym after work and work out for an hour.
• Be kind to myself
• Not eat my feelings.

Cheers Friday. I am glad we have this undertanding.

OH MY GOD I TOTALLY BLEW IT....

I was doing so well....up til rehearsals! I was at 1410 calories, still had about 97 to go, perfectly on target as long as I didn't eat anything else, and I ate a fricken piece of mudcake....600 calories later, I have totally blown out my limit for today.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???

I was so on track, and then I blew it, and worse, the cake was super sweet and it made me feel sick.

I am fucked, I have no willpower, I am a slave to food.

GRRRRRR, I am so angry at myself, and now it is 10 o'clock at night, and freezing and I have a headache from sugar and I have no way of burning it off before going to bed....

I have just put in my shopping exercise, and also corrected a couple of things, and I am really just 90 calories over, but still, very naughty!

I am going to have a nice hot shower and repeat to myself, food is fuel, food is fuel..........

Healthy thoughts...

So, update...

So, I have pretty much completed everything on my to do list for today's goals. I am probably not going to get to the gym, so I need to walk around the shops for half an hour tonight....shopping night, so not an issue. I am not going to get a chance to sign myself up for the biggest loser programme at the gym, but I have just texted the director and run past him the idea that I won't be at Thursday night rehearsals. I have made an appointment to see the lady at the chemist to be weighed on Saturday morning....eep! I am on track.

Lets look at stats...

Height: 159cms
Weight: 75.8 kgs as of this morning.
Ideal weight 48-63 kgs (honestly, I am not making this shit up.....I could be 48 kgs and be a healthy weight.....impossible!)
Happy weight (weight at which I am happy with my body) : 65 kgs.

So, technically, I have 10.8 kgs to lose until my weight doesn't bother me, 12.8 kgs until I am a healthy weight, BMI wise.

But I am going to break this into mini-goals.....and my first one is 70 kgs!

I will be under 70 kgs by the end of October. That is my goal.

Work is seriously in the way!

Okay, I am all motivated! I want to go and eat healthy foods! Do healthy things! Achieve my goals!

Only I am at work! Work is seriously in the way.

So far, I have made myself a healthy lunch and snacks. TICK! And I am not going to eat cake, or choccies. Uh uh. No way. I AM SERIOUS!

This morning I also started my food diary. On the recommendation from a friend, I joined the free website calorieking.com.au, a free online food and menu planner.

So far, I have had 245 calories for breakfast, my optifast and coffee, and for lunch I have made a chickpea and orange salad, and I have 2 boiled eggs for snacks. Still no idea what I am having for tea???

Time to google...

Not Gunna Be A Fattie.

I need to lose weight. I have needed to lose weight for the past year, and although I have sporadically drunk shakes, been for walks, guilted my darling boyfriend into walking with me, the weight has piled on. My darling friend and singing teacher suggested we blog to keep track of our weight, and make it public.

Too many weeks, knowing that I have had a bad week, I have not weighed myself, starving myself for days and THEN jumping on the scales. Wow.....that took guts to write down. Looking at it, I know that is wrong, but that is what I did, hoping the scales would show the magical number that wouldn't make me cry. I need to change the way I think about food, exercise and myself.

About a year ago, a bit more really, I had it. I was a healthy weight. I had trained myself to think of food as fuel and not overindulge. But, my world turned upside down when I left my husband, and then compounded about six months later when I had another small crisis, one that  has left my soul so scarred that I don't think that I will ever heal.

I think after that event the weight started to pile on. For a while I stopped caring, retreated into myself and allowed myself to go backwards. And I feel like I have been pushing shit uphill ever since.

I am at the point where I am borderline obese. People laugh when I say that.....I don't look obese, just a little chubby! Well, facing facts, I am, and even if I am socially acceptable, my weight is not healthy.

The point of blogging is kinda like keeping a journal, or a food diary. Except I seem to be better at blogging than at actually keeping a diary! So, I am going to do a coupleof things to help heal my heart and help me be healthy again.

These are my goals:
Today:

• I am going to make myself a healthy lunch and take it and eat it.
• I am going to go to the chemist and make an appointment with the Xndo lady to measue me and weigh me
• I am going to go to the gym and do an hour of exercise
• I am going to enquire for the gyms biggest loser competition and run the idea of missing Thursday night rehearsals past the director of the show I am in
• I am going to be in a happy mood all day.

Healthy thoughts people. x