So....it begins again.

I have signed up again for my biggest loser account, which helps me plan and record my food and exercise choices and helps me monitor my calorie in to calorie out equation. It is a very very good tool and has helped me lose weight before after the birth of my baby.

A friend of mine has teamed up with me, and we are having a race to see who can lose 5 kilos first, and the loser has to pay for the winners hair to be done......this, I think is the biggest motivating factor for me! She is an awesome friend, and would do anything for me, so we are going to do this together.

My other weight loss support buddy is currently on her honeymoon in England, but she lives right round the corner, so we will be helping each other when she gets back.

AND my sister is getting married this year in November, and so we will be having a race to see who can lose weight as well.

With all this support, how can I possibly go wrong....well, we will see!!!!!

Healthy thoughts! xx

Fallen off the bandwagon? Hell yes.

Well, fallen off the bandwagon is the understatement of the year.

Actually, my doctor asked me to stop losing weight until we sorted out some other medical issues (like why I can't stop gaining weight...?) and as a result, I am now the biggest I have ever been in my life.

Fucking, fucking, fucking unfair.

And the results? I am slightly low in iron, and apart from that I am as healthy as anything. No explanation for my sudden weight gain, but since October, I have gained seven kilos.

So, I am back to it, but now I have even more weight to lose. So, I am starting today....
I weigh 79.7 kilos as of this morning, and I am doing the Xndo programme, two milkshakes a day until I reach my goal weight, exercise lightly, and generally try to eat tiny portions.

My doctor has sent me to a nutritionist, but the waiting list is huge, so I have an appointment later this month. Apart from that, the next option is lap band, or stopping eating altogether?

A small loss...

So, I am back on the train, and have made a small loss this week. I am aiming again for under 75 kilos. My first mini goal is under 70 kilos, and so if I weigh in at under 75, then I will know that I am well on my way.

The scales read 75.2 this morning, so I am well on my way to achieving my goal this week. The question is can I do it???

I always get a little dissapointed at small losses, but I read something this morning that kinda changed my mind. A loss of 250gms per week might seem like a 'bad' weight loss, or not a very good one. We all want to pull big numbers, we all want it now now now! (Stupid Biggest Loser!) But 250gms per week, or a kilo a month, is 12 kilos a year. I know I coud do with 12 kilos gone! So I am not going to stress the small stuff, celebrate the big stuff and enjoy myself!

My goals for today are:

1. Google vegetarian sources of protein. I need to eat more of it, and less fat. Beans? Legumes? Tofu? I'm gunna find it.
2. Gym. Not a hard ask, I love going to the gym.
3. Eat healthily. (dur!)

Healthy thoughts! xx

Fallen off the bandwagon...

So, we have had guests here for the past week..... and there went my diet......

But, I went for my weigh in today anyway, explained that we had friends staying from Geraldton, and she had 5 kids, and that I had slipped a little off the bandwagon. She said it was fine, and that I needed to go back to exercising everyday and eating well, and it would all slip off again.

After my little epiphany, I am a lot more comfortable with this. Counting calories and watching portion sizes is something I will have to do for the rest of my life, no question about it. I am a human being, and I will slip up and have bad weeks, but I just need to go back to eating healthy and exercising. I will not be a fattie!

Two things I have realised in the past week:
1. Kewpie Mayonaisse is very, very dense, calorie wise. At 100 calories per teaspoon, it is a definate treat item, not an everyday kinda thing. Ooopsy.

2. Lettuce is very filling in a sandwich and really, really low in calories! A cup of shredded lettuce is only 4 calories. I don't like the tasteof lettuce on it's own, so I have never really bought it very much, but I am really enjoying it in egg and salad wraps. The eggs and a little mayo go well with the crisp lettuce. I know many many people know this, but I have only just figured it out.....give me a break! I am learning!

Go me, I will win this battle!

PS......zumba-ed this morning.....very very fun!

Not looking too shabby...

Okay, despite having had Sunday, Monday and some of Tuesday off 'dieting' (NO! HEALTHY EATING, LIFE LONG CHANGE) things are not looking too shabby for my weigh in on Saturday morning. 74.1 was the verdict on the scales this morning (Thursday) and I still have all day today and tomorrow to go! So I was theorising on what I have learnt so far...
1. If I exercise at a moderate intensity for an hour a day, I can eat 'nomally' and still lose weight. The extra 200 calories for coffee and a biccie, or a snack after school, or a beer with dinner is counteracted by burning 300-400 calories at the gym.
2. Calorie rich foods (garlic bread, chocolate, cake, cheese etc) are dense in calories for weight, but don't leave you feeling full. Filling up should be done with fruit, veggies and low calorie foods.
3. I do not drink enough water, nor gain enough of my calories from protein. I need to eat more legumes (being a vegetarian) beans, tofu, tempeh, and being a mummy, I need to find family (meat eater) friendly meals that contain those things.

I think the biggest thing that I have realised, having now lost and regained weight twice in my life, once when I was a young adult and once after the birth of my daughter, is that my weight will be a life long fight...but one that I will win. My body wants to store fat, doesn't feel full, and my 'natural' size is not a healthy one. I will always have to watch what I eat, and after doing Xenical, pills and all sorts of things, I just need to make sure I am burning more than I am eating! AND NOT GIVE UP!

Had a couple of days off...

Okay, I am an emotional eater. I eat my feelings, I know that I do this, but I am trying my best to control it. That said, I have had a couple of days off. I havent gone nuts, and I have still exercised, but I havent counted calories or anything.

BUT, today I am back on the wagon! I really hope I can still secure a little loss. Being 74.7 kgs last Sunday morning, I would be happy for a loss somewhere in the 74's.....even a little one. Again, 73 anything would be awesome, and I would be over the moon. Tonight, my daughter is at her daddy's house, so I am going to expend some serious calories. I am going to try and work off over 500 calories, easy if I do zumba, hard if I am just walking....BUT, my motivation is back! I am going to have a loss this week, I can feel it!

Healthy thoughts
xxx 

Lemon Tarts

Okay, I have just eaten three lemon tarts.....BAD DIETER, BAD DIETER!

Weigh In Day

It is weigh in day, and the results are:

74.7 kgs!

So I have lost 1.1 kilos this week.....a good result! I am very happy with that.

4.7 kg to go until my mini-goal is reached of 70 kg.....I can do it, I will do it!!!

Many good days makes?

So I was about to post another blog about haveing a good day, but then I saw that I have been having many good days. So, does many good days make for weight loss????

I am just talking hypothetically, if I was to gain weight how would it make me feel? Sad? Angry? Un-motivated? Like eating a whole cheesecake? Yep. probably like all those things.

I haven't peeked at the scales, but it is very, very close to the end of the week. And, yes, I am hoping to bein the 74ish category. 73ish (even 73.9) and I would be over the moon. Anything 75ish and I will be a little bit dissapointed. But I won't give up!

Healthy thoughts xx

Doing good today!

I am sitting at 1153 calories today, but in reality, 733 because I am about to go to ZUMBA!

I love Zumba, I love that my gym turn the lights off, I love that I can get right into it and shake my jiggly bits and work up a sweat, AND I LOVE that I walk out with a massive grin on my face. It just makes me happy.
I think it is the most amazing workout, and as far as group classes go, my favourite so far. My gym also has a night time creche, so little miss is fed, bundled into her jarmies and gets to go and play with kids before bedtime.

I feel like my motivation is really high today, and I just want to get really sweaty and work out..... so I am off to do it! Can't wait for weigh in day! xx

Healthy thoughts...

Good day!

Hell, yeah, bring it on! I have (again) come under for my calories....but I have also discovered a couple of thing....

• I drink far too little water. I usually drink between 0 (eep!) and 3 glasses a day.........and as a result I am dehydrated and probably eating when I should be drinking.
• Most of my days calories come from fat! :( multiple sad faces! I didn't even realise!
• Garlic bread is KILLER....low nutritional value, high caloric value. Ooopsy.
• Most of my calories are consumedat night. My breakfast and lunch are usually 100-300 cal affairs....dinner 800 +......I need to eat more balanced meals!

So, I am going to change tomorrow! I am going to plan and eat healthy things.....watch out tomorrow, I'm gunna getcha!

Oh, yeah. On the plus side....

I LOST 0.7 of a kilo THIS WEEK..... WHOO HOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       happydance happydance happydance

So, all the worries and frustration and hunger was for nothing....cause my calories in were less than my calories out. Woo Hoo!

Hmmmm...

Well, I didn't eat very much today, however I still managed to fill up my calories!? This is what I had

Breakfast:
Optifast and coffee 186 calories

Lunch:
Quiche and Salad with dressing 622 calories

Dinner:
Weight Watchers Meal
3 slices of garlice bread 562 calories

Snack:
Hard boiled egg 57 calories

all up: 1427 calories. Feels like a lot of calories for a little ammount of food....maybe time to give the garlic bread away...

Xndo weigh in and programme

So I had my weigh in for the Xndo programme today. I am not very interested in the actual programme (maybe I should be!) but the actual, physical motion of going and weighing in.... in front of someone! (gasp) and showing them what you have  eaten for the week. (excuse me whilst I have a brief panic attack)

But I seriously need a kick in the rectum. Two for two days and I have stuffed both of them up...

BUT! Day three has been a bit different....

At this very moment, I am sitting on 1414 cals out of 1500 and feeling mighty fine about it! 18% of my calories have been from fat (ugh) 20% from protein and 62% from carbs. Kinda hard to avoid carbs being a vegetarian....

Now, my next challenge for today was to find, set up and play my wii fit....and I have unpacked it after lending it to my sister and the &%$' remote is missing! I WANT TO BE GOOD! The universe is working against me.

Still have 12-13 kilos to lose....Just need to get over these initial hurdles.

Healthy thoughts....off to find some exercise that I can do that is not boring or likely to hurt me...

Bruschetta at midnite...

Oh god, Bruschetta at midnight, why were you so yummy. 2 for 2 days where I was over.

What is it about my head that associates food and company and fun? Because it is not by myself that I fall off the bandwagon, it is out being social, where I justify it as a social event. Could I not just have had a coffee at midnight? Or a diet coke? ARGH!

Ok, being weighed today at the chemist, and going to shake it up with some xndo programme...if it works, hallelujah.

Healthy thoughts.
x

Day two so far

Going good everyone!

Have eaten (copied and pasted from the calorie king website!)

1 rounded teaspoon (1.8g) of Coffees: Coffee, Instant, Granulated, Ground (Regular or Decaffeinated), dry 3 11
0.3 serving (250mL) of Vitasoy: UHT / Longlife Soy Drinks: Soy Milky, Lite 29 119

1 extra large, 250g with skin, 20cm/8" (165g) of Fruit, fresh: Banana, raw, edible portion 149 624

1 cup (220mL) of Coffee Shop: Flat White w. soy milk, no sugar 94 393

1 shot (30mL) of Gloria Jean's Coffees: Drinks, Hot: Syrup, Hazelnut Flavour 62 260

2 cup (200g) of Fruit, fresh: Fruit Salad w. fresh fruit, edible portion 148 620

2 large egg (50g) (44g) of Eggs: Chicken Egg, whole, hard-boiled 114 480

1/2 biscuit (58g) of Muffin Break: Cookies: Shortbread 149 624

1 meal (200g) of Weight Watchers: Frozen Meals: Minis, Creamy Mushroom Penne

Equalling 953 calories, with 547 calories to go.

Gunna go and work some off!

Healthy thoughts!

x

New Day, New Promises...

Okay, hello Day Two. Day One and I ended up having a falling out, and so I thought I would set some ground rules before we get too familiar, and start having problems. Your end of the bargain is that you need to be nice to me, and not drag or be boring or throw incompetant/meglomaniac/stupid people my way and I will promise to be good and eat foods that are full of nutrients, fibre and not overindulge and eat my feelings.

I promise to:

• Eat what I have brought to work.
• Not eat cake at morning tea time.
• Go to the gym after work and work out for an hour.
• Be kind to myself
• Not eat my feelings.

Cheers Friday. I am glad we have this undertanding.

OH MY GOD I TOTALLY BLEW IT....

I was doing so well....up til rehearsals! I was at 1410 calories, still had about 97 to go, perfectly on target as long as I didn't eat anything else, and I ate a fricken piece of mudcake....600 calories later, I have totally blown out my limit for today.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???

I was so on track, and then I blew it, and worse, the cake was super sweet and it made me feel sick.

I am fucked, I have no willpower, I am a slave to food.

GRRRRRR, I am so angry at myself, and now it is 10 o'clock at night, and freezing and I have a headache from sugar and I have no way of burning it off before going to bed....

I have just put in my shopping exercise, and also corrected a couple of things, and I am really just 90 calories over, but still, very naughty!

I am going to have a nice hot shower and repeat to myself, food is fuel, food is fuel..........

Healthy thoughts...

So, update...

So, I have pretty much completed everything on my to do list for today's goals. I am probably not going to get to the gym, so I need to walk around the shops for half an hour tonight....shopping night, so not an issue. I am not going to get a chance to sign myself up for the biggest loser programme at the gym, but I have just texted the director and run past him the idea that I won't be at Thursday night rehearsals. I have made an appointment to see the lady at the chemist to be weighed on Saturday morning....eep! I am on track.

Lets look at stats...

Height: 159cms
Weight: 75.8 kgs as of this morning.
Ideal weight 48-63 kgs (honestly, I am not making this shit up.....I could be 48 kgs and be a healthy weight.....impossible!)
Happy weight (weight at which I am happy with my body) : 65 kgs.

So, technically, I have 10.8 kgs to lose until my weight doesn't bother me, 12.8 kgs until I am a healthy weight, BMI wise.

But I am going to break this into mini-goals.....and my first one is 70 kgs!

I will be under 70 kgs by the end of October. That is my goal.

Work is seriously in the way!

Okay, I am all motivated! I want to go and eat healthy foods! Do healthy things! Achieve my goals!

Only I am at work! Work is seriously in the way.

So far, I have made myself a healthy lunch and snacks. TICK! And I am not going to eat cake, or choccies. Uh uh. No way. I AM SERIOUS!

This morning I also started my food diary. On the recommendation from a friend, I joined the free website calorieking.com.au, a free online food and menu planner.

So far, I have had 245 calories for breakfast, my optifast and coffee, and for lunch I have made a chickpea and orange salad, and I have 2 boiled eggs for snacks. Still no idea what I am having for tea???

Time to google...

Not Gunna Be A Fattie.

I need to lose weight. I have needed to lose weight for the past year, and although I have sporadically drunk shakes, been for walks, guilted my darling boyfriend into walking with me, the weight has piled on. My darling friend and singing teacher suggested we blog to keep track of our weight, and make it public.

Too many weeks, knowing that I have had a bad week, I have not weighed myself, starving myself for days and THEN jumping on the scales. Wow.....that took guts to write down. Looking at it, I know that is wrong, but that is what I did, hoping the scales would show the magical number that wouldn't make me cry. I need to change the way I think about food, exercise and myself.

About a year ago, a bit more really, I had it. I was a healthy weight. I had trained myself to think of food as fuel and not overindulge. But, my world turned upside down when I left my husband, and then compounded about six months later when I had another small crisis, one that  has left my soul so scarred that I don't think that I will ever heal.

I think after that event the weight started to pile on. For a while I stopped caring, retreated into myself and allowed myself to go backwards. And I feel like I have been pushing shit uphill ever since.

I am at the point where I am borderline obese. People laugh when I say that.....I don't look obese, just a little chubby! Well, facing facts, I am, and even if I am socially acceptable, my weight is not healthy.

The point of blogging is kinda like keeping a journal, or a food diary. Except I seem to be better at blogging than at actually keeping a diary! So, I am going to do a coupleof things to help heal my heart and help me be healthy again.

These are my goals:
Today:

• I am going to make myself a healthy lunch and take it and eat it.
• I am going to go to the chemist and make an appointment with the Xndo lady to measue me and weigh me
• I am going to go to the gym and do an hour of exercise
• I am going to enquire for the gyms biggest loser competition and run the idea of missing Thursday night rehearsals past the director of the show I am in
• I am going to be in a happy mood all day.

Healthy thoughts people. x